By Cradle Therapy · Reviewed by Mügé Tiritoğlu, RSW ·
Matrescence means the transition into motherhood. It gives a name to changes in identity, relationships, responsibilities and daily life that can accompany becoming a mother. It is a way of describing a life transition, rather than a diagnosis.
The word can be useful when “I should be happy” is the only explanation you have been offered. You can care deeply about your child and still want room for the parts of yourself that existed before parenting.
Why your sense of self can change
Motherhood can reorganize time, work, relationships and how you see yourself. Research on becoming a mother describes the transition as involving changes in priorities and relationships as well as identity. It also makes clear that individual experiences vary. A study is not a timetable for how you should feel. The Meaning of Becoming a Mother.
Questions worth bringing into a conversation include:
- Which parts of my life do I miss?
- Which expectations about being a mother do I actually agree with?
- What do I need from my partner, family or community?
- What would make a little more room for me this week?
These questions do not require you to choose between being a parent and being your own person.
Matrescence and mental health
A name for the transition can offer context, but it should not be used to explain away distress. Persistent low mood, anxiety or difficulties functioning deserve attention. A physician, midwife or nurse practitioner can help assess concerns during pregnancy or after birth. Counselling can sit alongside that care. BC Women’s postpartum mood information.
You do not have to decide for yourself whether an experience is “just matrescence” before asking for help.
What identity counselling can explore
At Cradle Therapy, matrescence and identity counselling focuses on your experience, values and choices. Conversations can include family boundaries, cultural expectations, guilt, changes in partnership and the practical load of parenting.
You might start with a specific question: “How do I ask for time that belongs to me?” Or you might start with a feeling you cannot yet put into words. The work begins with what matters to you.
Taking the next step in BC
Mügé Tiritoğlu, RSW, offers virtual counselling for adults physically located in British Columbia. Individual sessions cost $150 CAD for 50 minutes. You can review fees or join the waitlist for consultation availability.
For urgent help, use the BC crisis resources. Call 9-1-1 for immediate danger, or call or text 9-8-8 for suicide crisis support.
General information, not a diagnosis or individualized clinical advice. For immediate danger, call 9-1-1. For suicide crisis support, call or text 9-8-8.