By Cradle Therapy · Reviewed by Mügé Tiritoğlu, RSW ·
“Postpartum rage” is a phrase people use for intense anger or irritability after having a baby. It can be difficult to talk about, especially when the expectation is that new parenthood should feel joyful. Naming the feeling is a starting point for getting support, not a diagnosis.
You can ask for help without waiting until you have found the perfect explanation for what is happening.
What is behind the anger?
There is no single explanation that fits every person. Postpartum Support International describes anger as a possible part of postpartum anxiety and discusses the role of strain and limited support. That does not mean every angry feeling is an anxiety disorder. A professional conversation can explore your particular circumstances. PSI: anger and postpartum anxiety.
An honest starting point might be: “I am angry more often than I expected, and I want help understanding it.” You can describe what happens before the feeling builds, how it affects the people around you and what support is missing.
When to ask for professional support
Reach out if anger is distressing, keeps returning, affects relationships or leaves you worried about how you might respond. You can begin with your physician, midwife or nurse practitioner, particularly if anger comes with changes in mood, anxiety, sleep or day-to-day functioning. BC Women’s provides information about emotional health after birth and how to seek care. BC Women’s postpartum mood information.
There is no need to complete an online quiz before having that conversation.
If safety is a concern right now
If you think you might act in a way that could hurt yourself, your baby or someone else, get immediate help. Call 9-1-1 for immediate danger. Ask a trusted adult to help keep the baby safe while you seek support. For suicide crisis support, call or text 9-8-8. The Cradle Therapy waitlist and email are not monitored for emergencies. Immediate support in BC.
What counselling can focus on
Postpartum counselling can offer a place to discuss anger without pretending it is not there. At Cradle Therapy, conversations can include family boundaries, unequal mental load, relationship changes, support and time to recover.
Useful questions include: What tends to happen before the anger builds? Which responsibilities could be shared differently? What do I need other people to understand? The answers should reflect your household and circumstances.
Finding support in British Columbia
Mügé Tiritoğlu, RSW, offers video counselling to adults physically located in BC. You can join the waitlist for consultation availability and review the $150 CAD / 50-minute fee. Independent community support options are listed on the resources page.
General information, not a diagnosis or individualized clinical advice. For immediate danger, call 9-1-1. For suicide crisis support, call or text 9-8-8.